Chapter 5 "Stand Up"

Previously I had always walked through the kingdom with my head down so as to not be recognized.  This time however it was time for me to finally "Stand Up" and so I did. 

I called for Majesty and within seconds he appeared by my side. We decided to align our steps with the 2/4 measure as though both of us were marching towards a Pot of Gold.

This was my grand opportunity to finally convince by father and brother that I too had their blood and DNA.  I set out determined to provide strong and convincing evidence that I was no longer a weak link in their chain of custody.

I had no intention of riding Majesty through the black cobblestone streets. I needed him to stand up strong and erect just like me.  He seemed so regal and confident as he strode beside me.

We were in fact both so confident that we began to sing and march to the Music "Stand Up".  We were not afraid anymore and the further we traveled towards the eastern border, the more the angels within the kingdom began to march behind us.

We were all emboldened to sing aloud and march to the beat we had always desired to do. Before long there must have been a three mile long crowd of Angels behind us.  While they all continued to show continued allegiance to father, they were all seduced by the power of Music and they were ready to assume the risk of it's power.

While they were mesmerized by the glorious power of Music, they were still committed to the realization that my father still held the absolute power and authority over each of everyone of us including me.

We all sang and marched nonstop for thirty miles until we reached the edge of the city.  The Angels were forbidden to go beyond the city limits.  I tried as best I could to convey my love and admiration for the decision they had made to follow Majesty and I and with that I dismissed them and the returned to their squalid abodes. 

At the edge of the cobblestone lie the vast expanse that was the wilderness Majesty and I must now conquer.  We had seen dark soil in The Bleak Forest but this territory was neither dark or light.  It was like a gray moss substance, rather soft and subtle with no undulations visible to the eye.

It appeared as though this land went on forever but that did not deter Majesty and I from our appointed task. Since this soil was so soft, I knew that it would cushion Majesty's poor hoofs since he had been walking now for so long. My bare feet was surely in need of some comfort also.

I tapped Majesty on his forehead and he bowed down for me to mount him.  We did not need to gallop at a rapid pace so we pointed our direction towards the East and began to trot.

One thing we did notice as we distanced ourselves from the kingdom was the misty gray clouds.  It seemed as though the clouds were growing thinner and the intermittent drizzle would stop every now and then.

While we were still several hundred miles from the Eastern Border, this pattern continued as we grew closer to our destiny with the masterpiece we were determined to create.

Majesty and I were exhausted by now so I tapped him on his side and he bowed for my dismount. When he stood erect again, I began to massage him and talk to him with words only he could understand. 

As was our custom by then, I began to sing to him a very soft and sweet melody which was his signal that our day's work was coming to an end.  Once completed, Majesty lied down and waited for me to rest my weary soul on his massive chest.

Within minutes, we were both in a deep sleep yet we both awakened within a few hours.  We were both consumed with anticipation and when we awoke, we knew that we destined to begin again our mission.

I mounted Majesty in the same manner as I had always done, yet I could tell he was not interested in a meandering gate on this day.  Within seconds, he had began to gallop at a very rapid pace as if nothing could stop him.

It was amazing just how fast and calculated his pace and direction were. At times it was difficult even for me to maintain my mount. It was as if he sensed that we were drawing nigh to the border.

After who knows how many miles, the dark clouds began to break apart and there was no rain nor drizzle in sight.  To myself, I began to question the source of this phenomena.  I wondered if we would eventually reach a point where there would be nothing but clear blue skies.

It seemed as though Majesty had no intentions of sleep anytime soon, and as for me, I was much to excited to interrupt my mania for even a few hours.  Within hours, Majesty and I had reached what we perceived to be the Border we had been charged with building an Eastern Gate for.

We knew we were both close enough to the border for me to dismount and upon doing so, it was readily apparent that we had reached the divide.  The soil was now a beautiful shade of dark green and I could not hardly wait to walk upon it.  

I was so taken by the lush green grass that I failed to look above me where I saw a beautiful shade of blue and not one cloud to be found.  As soon as I walked upon my first blade of grass, I felt something brush my face. 

I had never seen blue and green colors, and I had never felt wind.  The air in my father's kingdom was always damp and stagnate.  The wind I had now found was capricious. One moment it would blow softly in one direction while at other times the wind would grow stronger and in every direction.  Sometimes it would almost completely stop only to begin either softly or penetrating.

I knew that my father would not wish for The Eastern Gate to be directly adjacent to this entirely new world.  In fact, it was my opinion that he would scoff at any gate where someone might catch a glimpse of this ornate creation.

So Majesty and I retreated one mile before we began to lay the foundation for The Eastern Gate.  We marched along the border line to the north towards the Black Sea and created a small path.  We then repeated this process towards the south. 

The boundary for the western side was the entire Black Sea.  I was ready to take a break by this time and so I laid upon a soft pallet of soil close by and fell asleep.  

Majesty was determined to continue working on the path or foundation for our Eastern Gate and thus he began to gallop from the end of the North Border to the Southern Border.

He did this nonstop until I awoke from my nap.  He then stood directly in the middle of the path and waited for my call to arms.  He waited for me there until I inspected every inch of the path that he had finished.  When I returned to the middle and found him patiently waiting there, I gave him a great big hug and expressed my sincere thanks for having done such a wonderful job.

Chapter 4 "Get Up!!!"

I slept in the deep forest that night and it was a very rare good nights sleep.  No racing thoughts or tormenting dreams. The Dark Angels and I would sing the Invisible song several times in order to get it just right. 

Then, we would package our Masterpiece and place it in the Music Vault. Once inside the vault, we need only to have pressed the play button to have the song played for us throughout the entire night.  I saw many a tear shed that night. Both by the dark angels and by me.


I awoke to find the dark angels huddled around me, and when they approached they asked for only one thing.  I noticed that they had stopped playing the recording by this time. When I asked why the Music had stopped, they all stated that they wished I would sing the song live.

Most of the dark angels, except the severely shy ones, came who came up to me had but one request but it seemed more like a plea for Internal and External Peace.  Each one cried out "Sing For Me...My Angel of Music...Sing For Me!!!"

When I began to play the song, some of the dark angels began to sob as though they had been released from a terrible dream that was all too real. Others sat along the ground and crossed their legs while they sang along with me. A few simply stood erect with their heads bowed.

I, nor the dark angels gathered round me never knew the source of the daylight hours of which there were only three, but everyone seemed well rested and ready to take control of their lives.

Everyone seemed to like the song "Get Up" as a signal to begin their fulfilling the days ahead.  In order to corral just the right tempo, I had to amplify the guitar and find just the right companion for my simple little lyric.

The lyrics and the guitar accompanying them came together in a matter of minutes, so both myself and the dark angels knew we were on to something.  While playing the song, some angels began to march in place, others began to jog in circles, while some even danced to the Music.

I explained to the dark angels that I had some work to be done for my father on the eastern boundary of the kingdom. It took several hours to reach the area so I explained that I was not sure that I would make it back to the deep forest by nightfall.

Michael, who appeared to be the spokesman for the gathering asked: What shall we do about the Music? Do we continue to play the three songs that have been written and played before, or should we sit here in silence and await your return.

I then replied: Music is a gift Michael. It is never to be sold nor soiled. One cannot buy Music...It can only be given away.  I now give all of the dark angels who seek shelter here in The Bleak Forest the creative power of Music.






You have access to all things within The Bleak Forest, including all manner of trees and vegetation, horse  manes, and all silver and bronze plates and ornaments. You may use the Central Furnace inside the deep forest to fashion any Musical Instrument you choose.


You may not however harm nor kill any living thing and while making your masterpiece you must avoid the city. For now, Music is only allowed within the deep forest.


I leave you now with a purpose and a mission.  If you should lose site of your heart while I am gone then just search for and find the melodies that are in your heart.


I started my mission to the eastern boundary of the kingdom very excited and filled with anticipation of just what I could create.  A gate may seem like a minor task for anyone else in the kingdom, but for me this was the single most important endeavor I had ever taken.


To show my resolve towards pleasing my father, I chose not to ride Majesty. Instead we walked beside each other and Majesty seemed to adjust his gate to accompany my "Get Up" reprise.

HOME

Chapter 3 "Invisible"

I rode Majesty out to The Bleak Forest with one sole purpose in mind.  I was determined to create something...anything to accompany my Voice.  I knew that I had to go deep into the forest this time such that I could hear my father should he decide to wander into this area.

I found some Cherry Wood from which I could craft what I knew would me my second prize possession. I constructed the shape and face board with an oblong pattern and a narrow fret board.  I took some sap from another cherry tree and polished them both until my hands were weary and cracked.

Then I took strands of Horse Hair from Majesty and crafted six tightly woven strings that passed from the fret board to the base of what I now called my guitar. At the end of the Fret Board I placed six silver turnstiles with holes to pass the strings through such that they might alter the tone of the strings by making them taut.

I was very proud of my new musical instrument and I could not hardly wait until I could begin to create
Music to accompany my voice.  At this point I did not name any of the notes or chords, however I knew that I would eventually make melodies to accompany any lyrics I might give them.

I knew most every form of Mathematics quite well, but I wanted something simple at this point since I was just getting my feet wet in this World of Music.  I simply called the strings as one through six. I began to practice playing my guitar and I found all manner of notes I could play yet alone they seemed lacking in melody.

The first thing that I needed to do was find some structure for the notes I had found; however, I could not do anything until I found the correct pitch for each string.  Until that time, the sounds were rather chromatic and dissonant.

Since three had always been my favorite number, I searched for and found the third letter "C" and having named my first pitch, I was able to make each string align with this particular one.

While I was not ready for a complicated and complex instrumental melody, I decided to give my first note a few companion strings. I therefore chose two additional strings varying the notes by placing my fingers upon a different and unique place on the fret board until the "C" chord whispered it's firstborn melodic sound.

There was no time here at this point to search for all of the possibilities my guitar would eventually give me. Little did I know that I would soon find majors...minors...fifths...sevenths...ninths...augmented...and diminished chords.

In a life full of nothing but torment and shadows, I had finally created a companion for my Voice. Now I had the key to create Music and I hastened to call for Majesty and have him carry me to my home.

As I arrived at my paltry home I found the door wide opened.  Then I saw War standing idle in the front yard. The fear that ensued was unimaginable.   
The first thing I sought to hide and protect was my guitar.  As I tried vigorously to dismount and place it under the crawlspace, I looked up and saw Damien standing not ten feet from me.

He grabbed me with one of his rock solid arms and he took the guitar from the other.  He then said: "Let's go speak to Father."  As we walked towards the front steps, tears began to fall upon my cheeks and by the time I saw father I was already sobbing.

The first thing he asked me about was the guitar.  I tried to explain Music to him but with every word coming from my mouth, he would beat me with my own guitar.  It was if I could hear the guitar begin to weep along with me.

He left no places on my entire body unscathed. While perhaps no more than fifteen minutes had passed, it seemed like forever. By now I was lying prone on the floor with blood scattered about me and my guitar. I began to talk to my guitar.  I sang these words time and time again: "Sing For Me...My Angel of Music...Sing For Me.

The guitar was nothing more than mangled pieces of wood and strings.  He finally relented and threw what was left of the wreckage against the wall. He said: "I thought I had made it perfectly clear to you  Erik just how I felt about your singing.

"Yes father, I know that is why I was removed from the palace and the palace grounds." I went on to say: "But father, the guitar was meant for Music. Music can comfort father...Music can heal."

"Who said we need those feelings here in this kingdom:" father replied. "There is no room in my kingdom for such nonsense Erik. How could the blood that flows through my veins and your brothers not flow through you?"

Father went on to say: "Erik, if I ever hear you playing this so called Music again, you will be banished forever from the entire kingdom." Then father in his own brutal way explained why he had sought after me.

He was aware of my creativity and artistry and he wanted an Eastern Gate built along the border such that none could enter nor leave.  The Northern, Western and Southern boundaries of the kingdom were bordered by The Black Sea and there were mighty Dark Angels who patrolled any potential access.

"Do you have any suggestions for me father" I said. "I need to know how high and how narrow and just what you are looking for."  Father replied: "Think about what happened here today.  You know what would please me and that which would not.  When you question yourself as to the decisions you must make, ask yourself what would father or Damien do.  Just remember this...There will be no room for mistakes here Erik. This is your final chance.  An error here or there will be met with terminal consequences."

I closed my eyes and waited for Damien and father to leave.  Though only a few minutes, it seemed like hours passed. As soon as they had departed, I called for Majesty and we hastily made our way back to The Bleak Forest. I was determined to replace my broken guitar with a new one.

Upon my arrival in the deep forest, I saw several dark angels gathered around in a large circle. When Majesty and I finally made it to the huddled mass, some of the dark angels parted to make way for us to venture towards the middle. 

I could not believe my eyes.  Lying on a redwood stump was the most beautiful guitar I could ever have imagined.  It was obvious that the dark angels had watched my every move when I built my first guitar and they not only replicated it, they improved upon it.  

They had taken the fret board and separated it with white dots and markings and created a separate device they called a capo that enabled any note or chord to be moved in concert with one's individual voice.

While I was ready to create Music at this point, I still needed inspiration.  The dark angels that had gathered there were fleeing from an environment much like mine.  They were lonely, hurt, sad, ridiculed, disillusioned and afraid.

But mostly throughout the entire kingdom, they were Invisible.  They had felt the scourge of wrath and were almost broken to The Point of No Return. What they needed and perhaps what I needed the most was to feel noticed.

They, nor I, desired to carry the burden of our current existence nor the pain and sorrow associated with it. We longed for a place where there were no memories of the difficult times or places that still lingered and haunted us but a new place where being different did not mean being absent.

Sing For Me...My Angel of Music...Sing For Me!!!

HOME

Chapter 2 "The Voice Within"

In a matter of seconds, Majesty arrived and slowly bowed for me to ascend to my rightful position. I never felt more comfortable on any place within the kingdom than I did straddling this powerful beast.

I could not count the number of times my father would threaten to kill Majesty and make her one of his offerings for another celebratory feast. Although that was the most powerful potential punishments I faced, it was just one of his many torments he would often send my way.

I had gone no more than a mile or so before I heard my brother's horse...Evil...He had come our way just to laugh at and taunt Majesty and I.  Evil was a brilliant gray creature with beautiful gray eyes and a long flowing dark gray mane which could easily steal the eyes of many.

Although the most cherished offspring, Damien was not the firstborn of our father. We looked nothing alike, nor did we share the same DNA or charisma. He had brilliant gray eyes just like father, and while mine were gray, they did not penetrate the soul of any creature in the kingdom like Damien or my father's did.

Damien instilled fear in every creature throughout the kingdom, for he would often mistreat anyone or anything for seemingly no reason at all. But, he was father's most beloved and father never let a chance go by to ridicule, mock and mimic me. Nor did he ever pass up an opportunity to boast about my brother and his accomplishments.

I spent an inordinate amount of time in my little home which was separated from the palace where my father and Damien lived. I never wandered to far from that which was comfortable to me, and there were times when the only solace I could find was my dreary home and The Bleak Forest.

I was cast out from the palace when I was only ten years of age for I was singing, simply singing...on and within the palace grounds. For a short time, I mainly slept in The Bleak Forest but there were times when I would find a cobblestone sidewalk where I would pitch my small tent.  I built my little home with scraps of cedar wood and other building materials I found scattered about the Palace when it had been built.

I had nowhere to look but inside myself. I had no one to sing to but myself.  I had taken the badge of scorn and ridicule and covered my heart with it. I did not stray too far from my refuge.  It seemed that not only did my father and brother despise my presence, but most of the dark angels avoided me when possible.

I filled my little home with inanimate objects that I would sing to.  I had to sing softly and tenderly even inside my own home ever mindful that my father could visit me any time. 

I was certainly not the only one in the kingdom that suffered from the scourge that was their father's disdain.  I often found them wandering in The Bleak Forest where they would gather and talk about their miserable existence in my father's kingdom.

I had a Voice that was very small and many in the kingdom assumed that I had no voice at all.  I lived or should I say existed within my four walls with no flesh to sing to. Nor did I carry any emotions within me other than those which my father had inflicted upon me.

I needed to find The Voice Within me, before I could begin to share it with the dark angels who meandered deep within the forest grounds. I knew that I could not find my voice until I was ready to share it with others.

For several years I searched for my Voice within seemingly to no avail. But once I found my voice within, I took Majesty and we headed directly for The Bleak Forest.  Although my talents were few, there were some that were powerful such as the gift to create.  While I sat upon the grounds of The Bleak Forest, I imagined a wooden instrument made of mahogany wood which was prevalent in the forest. 

I then took some clippings from Majesty's mane and formed six strings which were placed on top of the what I called a fret board. I played and played the strings but was not able to find the sound that I was looking for.  Then I chose to hollow out the wooden object and place a hole right above where my fingers could gently pluck the strings.

HOME

Chapter 1 "Angel of Music"

It was a miserable day. The entire sky was thick with a pale shade of Grey. I never saw anything in the skies above except dark, ominous clouds and a misty rain seemed to forever permeate the entire kingdom. The air seemed toxic to me since I was a victim of the colorless scourge that was my father's atmosphere. As I slowly walked along my father's black cobblestone streets, my thoughts turned to the dark side of an incredibly lonely experience that was my life.

I called out for my one cherished possession...A three year old white stallion named Majesty. Within a matter of minutes, I could hear his hoof beats of solace headed my way. His gate was always steady and uniform, so I could easily tell just how close he was to being by my side.

There were several ponies and horses throughout the kingdom... but I had rescued this particular one after finding him severely injured in The Bleak Forest, where my father had hunted him for sport.

Only rarely did my brother and father kill animals for sustenance unless a feast was being given.  I was never able to kill the gracious beasts for pleasure, and I personally had a difficult time eating at a feast where I knew a horse would be the honored guest.

My father would often hold a grand feast after he would slaughter one of these phenomenal creatures. After injuring Majesty during one of his hunting trips, he had allowed him to remain writhing in pain in the midst of the forest rather than offer him a sip of water and a chance to die a merciful death.

I would often venture into the bleak forest just to find a place of quiet refuge. The kingdom offered me very little chance of that. Though it might have seemed quiet in the city of gloom and despair, the haunting noises were frequent and penetrating.  A child's cry...a mothers fear and loathing...a father's punishing blows.


I did not find Music anywhere throughout the city. The only place that I could catch any glimpse of it was the land of The Bleak Forest. While the Birds there were only black, white and grey, they were still able to sing like songbirds. At least until they heard the foot beats of my fathers horse...War... heading in their direction. Every living creature in the kingdom could easily recognize War's gallop. 


Music was not allowed in any part of the kingdom including The Bleak Forest. Yet my heart and soul found comfort in the arms of Music. I could take any sorrowful and pensive thought and create a song for it with a beautiful melody. However, I could never share my songs with anyone but myself. There was definitely Music in my heart...my soul...and my mind.

HOME

"Introduction"

        To:  Father God
From:  The Angel of Music

 Christ Jesus, there is a place deep within my heart that has been empty for so long now.  Even when I am with family or friends, I often feel lonely and alone. I listen to the voices of mankind and I see the disparity of words and the futility of actions.

A myriad of mistakes I have made along my "Broken Road." Each having distanced me from Your presence. How I long to find that place which I can call Home.  Yet I traverse and meander along an evasive gorge, in search of that comfort only you can give.

Many ridicule you Christ Jesus, while others often mock and curse your name. Some will even suggest that they are doing your work on Earth by peddling what they offer as Governmental Altruism.

I do not understand why so many now worship what is considered to be our Mother Earth...the very place upon which we live. I know this earth is not my final resting place, yet  when I consider my eternal destiny, I find that my temporary home is the place where you dwell, and that is deep within my Heart.

I thank you for giving me a Home for you to dwell.  I hope and pray that those who suffer without having found a Home for you in their Heart will soon find that joyous journey which will lead them to the new "Shape of their Heart."

HOME